Ninja Mama

I write, I drink coffee, I'm wife to a psycho, I mother the Ninjas. It doesn't get much better than that.

Lazy Sunday

I’m sitting on the couch. Not doing a thing. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I just watched my husband do housework, and I took a picture earlier. Aside from that, not a thing. 

It’s Sunday. I’m lazy. Who cares? :)

Some drama early today. I’m choosing to let it go. From now on, if you’re someone who wants to be in my life, fantastic. If you’re not, fantastic. I’m too old, too tired, and too busy to try to make other people happy. I have a job, I have a family. I will no longer respond to what I think of as “Drama Traps”. Just not in my timeline, y’know? 

Sunday….I deem you a success! <3

deserthooker:

originofme:

iamabrusselssprout:

katematty:

ashlandrenee:

kitsunebellproductions:

bakeanddestroy:

alwaysbleeding:

Not unless one guy’s got the other in an upside-down bear hug, sweetie. Otherwise you have to stop walking to blow each other.
It’s definitely going to be weird watching all the gay people literally fucking in the streets. Just scissoring and buttfucking right there on the sidewalk, giving all that oral sex to each other up against lampposts and stuff.
Because that’s what marriage is all about. I know because I am privileged to have had the option for heterosexual unions my entire life, and that’s one of the coolest parts. The first thing I did when I put the ring on Natalie’s finger was to take her out in the middle of Cherry street and just bury my face in her knickers. It was a little weird because some other people had just gotten married and they were already fucking on top of someone’s car, and another couple from a nearby church were doing some shit with rubber toys I still don’t fully understand, but we tried our best to ignore them and focus on the very public, totally legal sex we were about to have.
The cool thing about America is that when you get married here it supersedes all indecent exposure and lewd conduct laws, and you can basically just walk into a preschool and start sucking on your husband’s dick or ejaculating all over your wife’s hair right in front of the kids, or go down on each other in the toothpaste aisle at Target.
It’s awesome, and I’m extremely happy to share that awesomeness with many fine, gay Americans thanks to the progressive attitudes of people in several key states.
See you on the sidewalks, gays! And you’d better not have any clothes on, you married sons of bitches! Live nude totally public fucking! Wooooooo!

Giggling.

*HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER*

Bless this post.

You sir are amazing and your wife is a very lucky woman!

I could post this to Facebook and all my homophobic Christian family members would bitch about the language.

There are days I wish I was still on FB so I could post stuff like this.

Yes. Because equal marriage makes them suck each other’s dicks. Before equal marriage, no gay dude ever sucked a gay dude’s dick. Ever.

deserthooker:

originofme:

iamabrusselssprout:

katematty:

ashlandrenee:

kitsunebellproductions:

bakeanddestroy:

alwaysbleeding:

Not unless one guy’s got the other in an upside-down bear hug, sweetie. Otherwise you have to stop walking to blow each other.

It’s definitely going to be weird watching all the gay people literally fucking in the streets. Just scissoring and buttfucking right there on the sidewalk, giving all that oral sex to each other up against lampposts and stuff.

Because that’s what marriage is all about. I know because I am privileged to have had the option for heterosexual unions my entire life, and that’s one of the coolest parts. The first thing I did when I put the ring on Natalie’s finger was to take her out in the middle of Cherry street and just bury my face in her knickers. It was a little weird because some other people had just gotten married and they were already fucking on top of someone’s car, and another couple from a nearby church were doing some shit with rubber toys I still don’t fully understand, but we tried our best to ignore them and focus on the very public, totally legal sex we were about to have.

The cool thing about America is that when you get married here it supersedes all indecent exposure and lewd conduct laws, and you can basically just walk into a preschool and start sucking on your husband’s dick or ejaculating all over your wife’s hair right in front of the kids, or go down on each other in the toothpaste aisle at Target.

It’s awesome, and I’m extremely happy to share that awesomeness with many fine, gay Americans thanks to the progressive attitudes of people in several key states.

See you on the sidewalks, gays! And you’d better not have any clothes on, you married sons of bitches! Live nude totally public fucking! Wooooooo!

Giggling.

*HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER*

Bless this post.

You sir are amazing and your wife is a very lucky woman!

I could post this to Facebook and all my homophobic Christian family members would bitch about the language.

There are days I wish I was still on FB so I could post stuff like this.

Yes. Because equal marriage makes them suck each other’s dicks. Before equal marriage, no gay dude ever sucked a gay dude’s dick. Ever.

What DO I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

The short answer? I have no idea.

I want to know everything. I want to be a part of everything. Being challenged makes me eager and energized. I need to know why things happen, why people do what they do. I’m eager to ideate, I want to make things better. I’m interested in everything, I want to make a place for myself in this world.

What do you do with that - does anyone know? I’m at a loss.

It’s Rant Time!

Okay, I’ve got a few things to get out, and I feel like typing. So here goes. Ready?

First of all…let’s talk about the ridiculous amount of cursing and swearing I see on Facebook and Twitter. Are we being serious here? I’ve seen more f-bombs in the last 15 minutes on Facebook than I care to count. Now listen, let me make something clear here - I swear. A lot, in fact. But I very, VERY rarely swear on Facebook, Twitter, etc. Why? Because as much as I’d love to be 22 again, the fact of the matter is that I DO care what people think of me - and that includes not having a potty mouth in a place where sometimes the only impression get of me is what they read. And for those of you who are 22, let me make this perfectly clear: It’s all fine and good to say you don’t care, it’s ‘your account’, it’s ‘no one’s business’, etc., but the truth of the matter is that more employers than ever are checking you out based on your online activity. Oh, you don’t care? Good luck with that. Here’s hoping you hang onto that lack of caring when you grow up and attempt to have a career in a few years’ time. 

On a similar thread - parents of teens not paying a lick of attention to what they’re doing online: Get your act together. It might not matter today, but it’s going to. There’s no such thing as taking the pee out of the pool - what’s on the Internet is ON THE INTERNET. Soon they’ll be the 22 year old who’s unable to get a job due to their online personas, so maybe taking some stock and having a conversation about the fact that like it or not, appearances matter might be a good idea.

Next up: Social Media “Experts”. REALLY? Are we still using this word? Let me just make this part short and sweet, ok? If you’re talking to someone who refers to themselves as an “expert” in social media, I want you to consider this: It’s an ever-evolving, ever-changing medium. It’s not ONE thing; it’s many. It’s a set of tools, not a magic wand. Most importantly, anyone who TRULY gets what social media is would never in a million years refer to themselves as an “expert”. Not in a conversation, not in a profile, not on a website. Nowhere. By the way, if you want to see what’s going on in the social media world in response to this kind of foolishness, I highly suggest you go check out SteamFeed, which is an amazing group of people in the industry who are serious about changing the way things are being done. 

Finally…intolerance. I’ve had way more than enough, and no longer will I stand for it in any way, shape, or form. If you’re someone who makes nasty, judgemental comments in my presence, no longer will I simply keep quiet or try to change the subject. I will call you out - and I won’t care who hears. I’m tired of “playing nice” with people who have no idea how to talk to or about others, who use politics or religious beliefs as a way to belittle and dehumanize others. It’s 2012, people - not 1712. 

Sorry for being verbose….but my brain was full. :)

Call to Virgin Mobile - A Recap

Virgin Customer Service Rep I spoke to: Laya

*put on hold while she pulls up my account

Explained why I was calling - I went over by 600mb and am being charged for 2.5GB

*put on hold a second time so she can investigate

Amount of data I went over by: 529.72120(MB)

Laya explained that because I’m on an “old plan” (Smartphone 55), I’m not covered by the 1gb = $10 thing - I get 5c/mb. (Apparently in Virgin Mobile’s world, an “old plan” gets raped by data, while a “new plan” does not. This “old plan”, by the way, I started in July 2011 - not even a year ago.) I then told her that was ridiculous as I was sent a text message FROM Virgin when I went over my data, telling me extra data was charged at the rate of $10/GB - not to mention that it’s plastered ALL OVER their website. 

She gave me a “one time credit” because I “didn’t know that I wasn’t covered” (which is not true - I was under the impression that I was covered, as that’s what all communication from Virgin Mobile told me) but assured me that if I went over again, that credit wouldn’t be given a second time. I told her I wanted the remainder of my Super Tab put on my next bill, that I’d be going to another company. I have to call back tomorrow, as Resolutions isn’t open on Sunday.

The over-all tone of the call? She wanted me off the phone. She wasn’t sure how to explain this old vs new plan business (which I can understand, as it’s completely absurd), and I was given a credit to shut me up. 

Guess who doesn’t “shut up” well? This girl. 

My Latest Post to Virgin Mobile (Yes, AGAIN)

I’d like some clarification. Plastered all over your website is the fact that Data Costs are as follows: 1GB = $10. I went over by less than 600mb last month (the first time in almost ***3 years*** of being a Virgin customer, I might add), and it’s costing me $25. 

While I admit that as a Social Media professional, my math skills probably aren’t those of say, an accountant, I feel quite confident in saying something isn’t quite right here. I’d like to see the Virgin Mobile math on that, please. And while you’re doing your calculations, I’ll be checking out Wind Mobile, who offer *UNLIMITED* talk, text, and data - Canada-wide. Oh, and they also won’t charge me an extra $10/month for unlimited incoming calls - that’s part of their deal too. PLUS, on top of that, they’ll give me a $100 service credit if I switch before April 1. 

Between the 999 month contract I had to fight to get out of, the absolutely HORRIBLE customer service from both Representatives AND Supervisors, and the fact that the people who work for this company obviously have no idea whatsoever how to actually LISTEN to their customers, I’ve *had it*. Your motto is a joke, your service for customers is bordering on non-existent, and I’m sick and tired of hearing excuses. I’ll take my business where it’s appreciated - which is obviously anywhere but here. 

Shame on you, Virgin Mobile.

Of Laziness.

I’ve been lazy about blogging. I admit it.

I’ve also been crazily busy, and haven’t had much time to even think of blogging. 

Does this make me a) a slacker, b) a busy person, or c) a busy person who’s also a slacker?

Discuss.

(PS: I’m going with c, just for the record. I’m nothing if not honest.)

Saturday, You Suck.

It’s snowing. It’s blowing. My brain is messy.

Saturdays are supposed to be relaxed and fun, right? This one’s irritating me. I have a bunch of stuff I want to get accomplished today, and my brain is best described as “fuzzy”. Meaning, all the creative work I wanted to get done today is most likely down the drain.

What do you do when your brain is fuzzy and you have things to do? I’d love to hear some tips - obviously I need them!

Today I Am New

I can’t even explain it…I’m just new today. New attitude, new outlook, new way of thinking. 

I’m smiling. Actually smiling. And I FEEL this smile. :)

I am grateful, I am thankful, I am loved and loving. I am excited and happy about my life and the people in it. 

What a wonderful way to be. <3